The battle of Pelennor fields in candy form, re-created with liquorice and marshmallows by a family during the holidays. It's absolutely amazing. I wonder if they ate it afterwards, that's a huge army of candy.
Candy Minas Tirith
Monday, January 28, 2008
Wednesday, January 23, 2008
Bleugh
I've finally finished reading the space opera saga Pandora's Star + Judas Unchained by British writer Peter Hamilton. I've really enjoyed it, to the point of staying awake until 2-3 in the morning because I couldn't put the book down.
I have only one gripe. In Judas Unchained, it's the year 2400 something and a starship technician who not only isn't British, but isn't even from Earth, unwraps and eats a Cadbury bar. NO FUCKING WAY.
Cadbury chocolate sucks. It sucks immensely. The only reason why people in this country eat that dog puke is because they don't know any better, but it's horrible. Try Swiss or Belgian chocolate - hell, even whatever local non UK chocolate you can find - and compare. Cadbury's in-fuckin-edible. The UK has some special regulations and ingredient quotas on how to make chocolate where they use less cocoa and replace it with other stuff, arguably sweetened shit (as if anyone had to wait for the lab results to find out and couldn't tell from the taste).
Forget the evil aliens, the nova bombs, the quantumbusters, the 60 destroyed planets and the millions of dead Galactic Commonwealth citizens, the really scary thing in Peter Hamilton's book is the concept that four hundred years from now someone will still be shoving that garbage in their mouth.
/nerdrage
I have only one gripe. In Judas Unchained, it's the year 2400 something and a starship technician who not only isn't British, but isn't even from Earth, unwraps and eats a Cadbury bar. NO FUCKING WAY.
Cadbury chocolate sucks. It sucks immensely. The only reason why people in this country eat that dog puke is because they don't know any better, but it's horrible. Try Swiss or Belgian chocolate - hell, even whatever local non UK chocolate you can find - and compare. Cadbury's in-fuckin-edible. The UK has some special regulations and ingredient quotas on how to make chocolate where they use less cocoa and replace it with other stuff, arguably sweetened shit (as if anyone had to wait for the lab results to find out and couldn't tell from the taste).
Forget the evil aliens, the nova bombs, the quantumbusters, the 60 destroyed planets and the millions of dead Galactic Commonwealth citizens, the really scary thing in Peter Hamilton's book is the concept that four hundred years from now someone will still be shoving that garbage in their mouth.
/nerdrage
Saturday, January 12, 2008
The turnip
In an attempt to eat more vegetables, I've subscribed to a scheme where you pay ten pounds a week and they bring you a box full of organic greens and fruit. I've done it before and it resulted in several pounds of carrots rotting slowly at the bottom of the fridge, but these new guys allow you to tell them your likes or dislikes beforehand. And that's not all! You can do it with smileys! I wonder if they have a japanese version. "Aduki beans: ^___^".
So that's the theory. In practice I received a box of mixed vegetables where half of the room was taken by a giant turnip. Anyone who's familiar with the old TV series Blackadder may remember an episode where Baldrick spends millions of pounds on a giant prize turnip, the dream of his life - this is not quite that big but it's getting there (probably they put the really big ones in the family sizes boxes). Now I'm wondering what to do with it. I wouldn't even know what to cook with a small turnip.
I could google giant turnip recipes, or maybe travel the world and take pictures of or with it in front of famous landmarks. I could keep it until Halloween and then carve a monster face in it.
If this was a China Mieville short story the turnip would slowly take over my thoughts and my life, I'd come to fear it and be obsessed with it at the same time, and eventually it'd open the gate to some other dark, terrible dimension. Shit, I should get up and throw it away. But now... I'm scared...
So that's the theory. In practice I received a box of mixed vegetables where half of the room was taken by a giant turnip. Anyone who's familiar with the old TV series Blackadder may remember an episode where Baldrick spends millions of pounds on a giant prize turnip, the dream of his life - this is not quite that big but it's getting there (probably they put the really big ones in the family sizes boxes). Now I'm wondering what to do with it. I wouldn't even know what to cook with a small turnip.I could google giant turnip recipes, or maybe travel the world and take pictures of or with it in front of famous landmarks. I could keep it until Halloween and then carve a monster face in it.
If this was a China Mieville short story the turnip would slowly take over my thoughts and my life, I'd come to fear it and be obsessed with it at the same time, and eventually it'd open the gate to some other dark, terrible dimension. Shit, I should get up and throw it away. But now... I'm scared...
Thursday, December 13, 2007
Done!
I went, I swore, I got my citizenship certificate. The high point of the ceremony was when we all had to stand up in turn and say "I, Gianna Masetti", "I, John Doe", etc. then wait to repeat together the rest of the formula. There was a lady who kept repeating "I, Council of Lewisham", "I, Lewisham Council?", "I... I... Council!" with increasing panic in her voice. I wonder if it was just stage fright or a complete lack of basic English skills. Or maybe it was just her name, by an uncanny coincidence.
Apart from that, the council staff performing the ceremony had that uniquely British brand of cheerfulness that reminded me of that Life of Brian's scene where they line up prisoners. "Good morning! Crucifixion? Jolly good! Out of the door. Line on the left. One cross each. Next please! Crucifixion? Splendid! Out of the door. Line on the left. One cross each."
They even had balloons, red white and blue, and a table of refreshments that I didn't try because a very large, angry woman stabbed me in the back with a plastic fork to get to the food (I couldn't move because there was a small kid in front of me stuffing his face with scotch eggs straight from the tray).
I didn't even complain to her because most of the people seemed to speak no English, despite the fact that you need to pass a written test before the ceremony, where you show your knowledge of Britishness answering questions like "Who is the patron saint of Wales?" and "From what countries did bus drivers come to England in the Fifties?". If I ran a pub I'd ask these questions at quiz night and I'm willing to bet that most born and bred Brits wouldn't have a clue.
Now I can apply for a passport, but I'm told that before they give it to me I'll have to go to yet another interview, where I will have to demonstrate that I am in fact myself. I hope that they don't go for a philosophical angle. "Good morning. Sit down. Tea, coffee? OK, to start let's define the concept of "self", shall we? Consciousness constitutes the reflected or relational level of the spirit, the level of its appearance. The self is the infinite relation of the spirit to itself but a subjective relation, as self-certainty. As this absolute negativity it is identity in its otherness; the self is itself and..."
Apart from that, the council staff performing the ceremony had that uniquely British brand of cheerfulness that reminded me of that Life of Brian's scene where they line up prisoners. "Good morning! Crucifixion? Jolly good! Out of the door. Line on the left. One cross each. Next please! Crucifixion? Splendid! Out of the door. Line on the left. One cross each."
They even had balloons, red white and blue, and a table of refreshments that I didn't try because a very large, angry woman stabbed me in the back with a plastic fork to get to the food (I couldn't move because there was a small kid in front of me stuffing his face with scotch eggs straight from the tray).
I didn't even complain to her because most of the people seemed to speak no English, despite the fact that you need to pass a written test before the ceremony, where you show your knowledge of Britishness answering questions like "Who is the patron saint of Wales?" and "From what countries did bus drivers come to England in the Fifties?". If I ran a pub I'd ask these questions at quiz night and I'm willing to bet that most born and bred Brits wouldn't have a clue.
Now I can apply for a passport, but I'm told that before they give it to me I'll have to go to yet another interview, where I will have to demonstrate that I am in fact myself. I hope that they don't go for a philosophical angle. "Good morning. Sit down. Tea, coffee? OK, to start let's define the concept of "self", shall we? Consciousness constitutes the reflected or relational level of the spirit, the level of its appearance. The self is the infinite relation of the spirit to itself but a subjective relation, as self-certainty. As this absolute negativity it is identity in its otherness; the self is itself and..."
Thursday, November 29, 2007
Repeat, repeat, I, I, your name, your name, solemnly swear...
This afternoon I'm going to a ceremony to become a British citizen in addition to Italian.
I'm a bit nervous about it, especially the part of the instructions that says "then we will all stand up and sing the National Anthem". I realised that I only know the Sex Pistols version so I had to google 'youtube british anthem singalong' and practice a bit. At least I know the words now, they don't say "no future" as a foreigner may be led to think.
Aside from the first part of the anthem that everyone knows because it's sung at football matches, there are other verses that apparently are only sung on special occasions. I could find two on the internet - one is quite nice and wishes well to the Queen and invites people to send her gifts etc etc., the other one is a lot more pissy and has a bit of a rant about enemies and their plots and knavish ways - I assume that they mean the French. Anyway these parts aren't sung at normal ceremonies so I won't have the embarassment of starting with the wrong verse.
Also, the instructions don't mention having to walk on crosses to renounce my popish ways or anything hardcore like European merchants had to do to be accepted in Japan a few centuries ago. In fact, this is a country that welcomes and encourages diversity, to the point that the instructions of the ceremony invite me to wear my national costume if I am so inclined. I considered wearing a Roma jersey but I'd have to go and buy one for the occasion.
I'm a bit nervous about it, especially the part of the instructions that says "then we will all stand up and sing the National Anthem". I realised that I only know the Sex Pistols version so I had to google 'youtube british anthem singalong' and practice a bit. At least I know the words now, they don't say "no future" as a foreigner may be led to think.
Aside from the first part of the anthem that everyone knows because it's sung at football matches, there are other verses that apparently are only sung on special occasions. I could find two on the internet - one is quite nice and wishes well to the Queen and invites people to send her gifts etc etc., the other one is a lot more pissy and has a bit of a rant about enemies and their plots and knavish ways - I assume that they mean the French. Anyway these parts aren't sung at normal ceremonies so I won't have the embarassment of starting with the wrong verse.
Also, the instructions don't mention having to walk on crosses to renounce my popish ways or anything hardcore like European merchants had to do to be accepted in Japan a few centuries ago. In fact, this is a country that welcomes and encourages diversity, to the point that the instructions of the ceremony invite me to wear my national costume if I am so inclined. I considered wearing a Roma jersey but I'd have to go and buy one for the occasion.
Tuesday, August 14, 2007
Short Q & A
A reader from Ukraine, Tassadar, wrote to ask some questions - here are the answers.
1) What is you favorite MMORPG ?
Well, I guess that the best game out there at the moment is WoW - although I'm a bit bored with it right now and I'm not playing it. I left it for a long time before and came back for the expansion but now I'm taking another break. I've also bought LOTRO to try it, it's very pretty but it makes me sleepy ;) The part where you play hobbits elves etc has no pvp so it's like playing The Sims. It has a pvp area though, more of that in answer 2. Historically my favorite games were UO and most of all Asheron Call 1.
2) What MMORPG do you think has the best pvp and pk system ?
I agree with you that WoW isn't really a pvp/pk system. I go afk for an hour in places where I will probably be killed because who cares? I can just run back. Battlegrounds are fun for an hour. Arena is fun but again, it's like a minigame. LOTRO has an interesting team pvp setup, where once you are level 10 you can go to a Fell Pool (or something like that) and make a level 50 evil character (orc, warg, etc.) and then fight high level good guys in a contested area that has fortresses that you need to control etc. This is done in raid groups and the bad guys require a lot of strategy to win because they are disadvantaged (but they are usually more skilled). You get points for kills that you can spend on abilities etc. to become stronger. There's in-game voicechat (although quality sucks) so you can logon and be in a pvp raid within 5 minutes, at peak hours. However, it's not free for all pvp in the way that AC1 Darktide was (it was great). I don't play it but I hear often that EVE is the closest you get these days to a free for all pvp setting. As for the future, I hope that Darkfall will finally get released because they promise ffa pvp, and I'm looking forward to trying Conan.
3) About your comic - Have you ever thought about meeting characters of The Noob irl ?
I've met plenty of people in game that inspire the characters. Not as in specific people, but as in human types, the pker, the roleplayer, and so on. But to answer your question specifically, the characters of the Noob are just fictional characters - I never actually thought that I'd like to meet them irl ;)
1) What is you favorite MMORPG ?
Well, I guess that the best game out there at the moment is WoW - although I'm a bit bored with it right now and I'm not playing it. I left it for a long time before and came back for the expansion but now I'm taking another break. I've also bought LOTRO to try it, it's very pretty but it makes me sleepy ;) The part where you play hobbits elves etc has no pvp so it's like playing The Sims. It has a pvp area though, more of that in answer 2. Historically my favorite games were UO and most of all Asheron Call 1.
2) What MMORPG do you think has the best pvp and pk system ?
I agree with you that WoW isn't really a pvp/pk system. I go afk for an hour in places where I will probably be killed because who cares? I can just run back. Battlegrounds are fun for an hour. Arena is fun but again, it's like a minigame. LOTRO has an interesting team pvp setup, where once you are level 10 you can go to a Fell Pool (or something like that) and make a level 50 evil character (orc, warg, etc.) and then fight high level good guys in a contested area that has fortresses that you need to control etc. This is done in raid groups and the bad guys require a lot of strategy to win because they are disadvantaged (but they are usually more skilled). You get points for kills that you can spend on abilities etc. to become stronger. There's in-game voicechat (although quality sucks) so you can logon and be in a pvp raid within 5 minutes, at peak hours. However, it's not free for all pvp in the way that AC1 Darktide was (it was great). I don't play it but I hear often that EVE is the closest you get these days to a free for all pvp setting. As for the future, I hope that Darkfall will finally get released because they promise ffa pvp, and I'm looking forward to trying Conan.
3) About your comic - Have you ever thought about meeting characters of The Noob irl ?
I've met plenty of people in game that inspire the characters. Not as in specific people, but as in human types, the pker, the roleplayer, and so on. But to answer your question specifically, the characters of the Noob are just fictional characters - I never actually thought that I'd like to meet them irl ;)
Monday, July 23, 2007
Noob e-mail
I received several emails while I was on holiday in Scotland, so I'll answer them here.
Simon writes about a free mmo that he plays, Eternal Lands, where high level miners can move on from diamond digging and start harvesting precious substances from public toilets. Apparently there's rare gunpowder to be found in human faeces (which possibly requires a dinner of curry vindaloo the night before). Maybe the designers of Eternal Lands were fed up with miners asking for craft improvements when they made this update. I was about to say that WoW designers can only dream to have players with their arms up to the elbows in dung piles then I remembered that there are quests in Nagrand where you have to do just that. Are they trying to send us a message? ARE THEY FED UP WITH PLAYERS? How's that possible!?! After all, listening to endless whining, moaning and complaining from people with an overinflated sense of entitlement has never killed anyone.
Earte writes a long suggestion for the plot based on Apocalypse Now/Heart of Darkness. Thanks, it's very interesting and detailed. I won't use it but I really appreciated it and had fun reading it. Anyway I have ideas that I haven't scripted yet, that are based on Apocalypse Now. The last time that I quoted it someone said that I was quoting Surf Ninjas, so I'm really curious to see if anyone thinks that "oh the horror... the horror" is a quote from Scary Movie IV.
I have received emails from several Swedish readers, horrified at the thought that Basshunter is embarassing their country outside national borders. I don't know what you're talking about, all I sing in the shower these days is "on enemies ve creep-ah lalalah ve sleep-ah". Mattias points out that the correct spelling is "vi sitter hÄr i venten". Double-dot omissions are seriously frowned upon in Sweden, I'm told. They may even creep-ah on you and bitchslap you, if you do it too often.
Borys from Poland likes the bored dwarfette/chavette in the last panel of 262. WTF, chavs are known outside Britain, now? Now that's embarassing - much more than Basshunter. I drew the dwarfette looking at a still image of the girl in the white gym suit in the video - a.k.a. the swedish version of Vicky Pollard.
J would like to see some eccentric newbies in bronze armour in the comic. Well, ok, but they'll have a hard time looking eccentric in Beacon of Hope, though, what with the flower guys and the squids and so on.
Then there's the usual bunch of people who want a piece of me, like some guy who signs his emails as Dynamo Ace. He offers to format in PDF and sell my comic with chapter bookmarks (chapter bookmarks, no less! welcome to the world of tomorrow! Don't you need some special expensive machinery to enter bookmarks in a PDF file?). He would generously give me 50% of the profit. How very kind! He'd be selling my work and keeping only half of the money! What a great deal.
And while the distribution of the comic is in safe hands with Dynamo Ace, I can rely on Janet from Nigeria to take care of the online store:
"Hello sale,
when i come across your website, i observe that you have different product in your store and available items, well before i procced i want to know if you can ship your product to one of my store in Nigeria.
Thanks,
Janet."
I really like the "hello sale". Nothing like the informal, human touch to start a business partnership.
This is all for this bunch of emails, thanks for writing and take care.
Simon writes about a free mmo that he plays, Eternal Lands, where high level miners can move on from diamond digging and start harvesting precious substances from public toilets. Apparently there's rare gunpowder to be found in human faeces (which possibly requires a dinner of curry vindaloo the night before). Maybe the designers of Eternal Lands were fed up with miners asking for craft improvements when they made this update. I was about to say that WoW designers can only dream to have players with their arms up to the elbows in dung piles then I remembered that there are quests in Nagrand where you have to do just that. Are they trying to send us a message? ARE THEY FED UP WITH PLAYERS? How's that possible!?! After all, listening to endless whining, moaning and complaining from people with an overinflated sense of entitlement has never killed anyone.
Earte writes a long suggestion for the plot based on Apocalypse Now/Heart of Darkness. Thanks, it's very interesting and detailed. I won't use it but I really appreciated it and had fun reading it. Anyway I have ideas that I haven't scripted yet, that are based on Apocalypse Now. The last time that I quoted it someone said that I was quoting Surf Ninjas, so I'm really curious to see if anyone thinks that "oh the horror... the horror" is a quote from Scary Movie IV.
I have received emails from several Swedish readers, horrified at the thought that Basshunter is embarassing their country outside national borders. I don't know what you're talking about, all I sing in the shower these days is "on enemies ve creep-ah lalalah ve sleep-ah". Mattias points out that the correct spelling is "vi sitter hÄr i venten". Double-dot omissions are seriously frowned upon in Sweden, I'm told. They may even creep-ah on you and bitchslap you, if you do it too often.
Borys from Poland likes the bored dwarfette/chavette in the last panel of 262. WTF, chavs are known outside Britain, now? Now that's embarassing - much more than Basshunter. I drew the dwarfette looking at a still image of the girl in the white gym suit in the video - a.k.a. the swedish version of Vicky Pollard.
J would like to see some eccentric newbies in bronze armour in the comic. Well, ok, but they'll have a hard time looking eccentric in Beacon of Hope, though, what with the flower guys and the squids and so on.
Then there's the usual bunch of people who want a piece of me, like some guy who signs his emails as Dynamo Ace. He offers to format in PDF and sell my comic with chapter bookmarks (chapter bookmarks, no less! welcome to the world of tomorrow! Don't you need some special expensive machinery to enter bookmarks in a PDF file?). He would generously give me 50% of the profit. How very kind! He'd be selling my work and keeping only half of the money! What a great deal.
And while the distribution of the comic is in safe hands with Dynamo Ace, I can rely on Janet from Nigeria to take care of the online store:
"Hello sale,
when i come across your website, i observe that you have different product in your store and available items, well before i procced i want to know if you can ship your product to one of my store in Nigeria.
Thanks,
Janet."
I really like the "hello sale". Nothing like the informal, human touch to start a business partnership.
This is all for this bunch of emails, thanks for writing and take care.
Friday, November 17, 2006
Please continue to hold
An old episode has come true! British Telecom have double-billed me for my broadband and I can't get through to their customer service!
"Please continue to hold. You are moving up the queue and you are now #35703895 in line to speak to our customer support desk in Bhubaneshwar."
Although they're not quite as awesome as the support line of a friend's broadband, who play MIDI versions of Pachelbel while you wait and wait.
Monday, October 23, 2006
Why I love the Sims 2
Because of their amazing bugs. I've bought the Sims 2 Pets on Friday and I was browsing a fansite forum, when I came across this post by a concerned player:
I had the weirdest thing happen after installing Pets. I created a dog and then called for an obedience trainer. They trainer sim came to the house but just sat in a van in front of the house sobbing and crying continuously! I couldn't get it to stop and I couldn't interact with the trainer sim. I ended up moving the family out and demolishing the lot. Has anyone else seen this?
That's such a great bug.
It seems that people don't have much luck even if the trainer is not upset, though, according to this answer:
My trainer won't train either. She came, I purchased training, then she sat on the couch and watched TV.
I had the weirdest thing happen after installing Pets. I created a dog and then called for an obedience trainer. They trainer sim came to the house but just sat in a van in front of the house sobbing and crying continuously! I couldn't get it to stop and I couldn't interact with the trainer sim. I ended up moving the family out and demolishing the lot. Has anyone else seen this?
That's such a great bug.
It seems that people don't have much luck even if the trainer is not upset, though, according to this answer:
My trainer won't train either. She came, I purchased training, then she sat on the couch and watched TV.
Are you unable to connect to the main webcomic site?
Two readers have posted comments saying that they have been unable to view the main webcomic site for over a month. I've spoken to the network administrator of the host who told me some things that you can check out if this is happening to you. He would also appreciate if you could post/email the results of these checks. Comparing them for all the people who are having problems would help him to see if there is a problem at our end.
These are the checks to do:
1. In windows, press start, then Run, type in CMD (win 2000/XP/Vista) or COMMAND (Win 98/ME)
2. In the command window, first type:
nslookup http://www.thenoobcomic.com
the IP should be 67.18.37.227
then type:
nslookup http://www.thenoobcomic.com 67.18.37.226
the IP should still be 67.18.37.227
If the first fails, but the second works, it is your local DNS server and you should be able to fix the problem by contacting your ISP. Even so, please send us the results so the network admin can check them.
3. If both work, type tracert 67.18.37.227 to see how far you get. (Tracert displays all the hops that you do to reach the page.)
HOW TO DUMP THE RESULTS TO A TEXT FILE
In the command window, type the following (where filename stands for whatever name you want to give to the file and [ENTER] stands for pressing the Enter/Return key):
nslookup http://www.thenoobcomic.com > filename.txt [ENTER]
nslookup http://www.thenoobcomic.com 67.18.37.226 >> filename.txt [ENTER]
tracert 67.18.37.227 >>filename.txt[ENTER]
Paste the results of the text file here as a comment or email them to me at gianna.masetti@gmail.com
In the commands above, > writes to file and >> appends. If you want to write the file in a specific folder, e.g. a folder called misc on your c: drive, just type the whole path, > c:\misc\filename.txt.
In the meantime the network admin has made some small change at his end so you may be able to view the comic website already. I hope this helps!
These are the checks to do:
1. In windows, press start, then Run, type in CMD (win 2000/XP/Vista) or COMMAND (Win 98/ME)
2. In the command window, first type:
nslookup http://www.thenoobcomic.com
the IP should be 67.18.37.227
then type:
nslookup http://www.thenoobcomic.com 67.18.37.226
the IP should still be 67.18.37.227
If the first fails, but the second works, it is your local DNS server and you should be able to fix the problem by contacting your ISP. Even so, please send us the results so the network admin can check them.
3. If both work, type tracert 67.18.37.227 to see how far you get. (Tracert displays all the hops that you do to reach the page.)
HOW TO DUMP THE RESULTS TO A TEXT FILE
In the command window, type the following (where filename stands for whatever name you want to give to the file and [ENTER] stands for pressing the Enter/Return key):
nslookup http://www.thenoobcomic.com > filename.txt [ENTER]
nslookup http://www.thenoobcomic.com 67.18.37.226 >> filename.txt [ENTER]
tracert 67.18.37.227 >>filename.txt[ENTER]
Paste the results of the text file here as a comment or email them to me at gianna.masetti@gmail.com
In the commands above, > writes to file and >> appends. If you want to write the file in a specific folder, e.g. a folder called misc on your c: drive, just type the whole path, > c:\misc\filename.txt.
In the meantime the network admin has made some small change at his end so you may be able to view the comic website already. I hope this helps!
Saturday, October 21, 2006
Minor things that annoy me
Commentary in some documentaries.
The sensationalist spooky bullshit, specifically. "There's something haunted here... something scary... IN THE POSTAL MUSEUM!"
Labelling in grocery stores.
Tesco, the supermarket where I normally buy my groceries, sells normal sized bananas and slightly smaller, misshapen ones. Instead of calling them honestly grade B bananas or something, they label them "Fun sized bananas". Fun sized? FUN SIZED?!?
Oh yeah... hilarious...right... "Joe! JOE! Oh God, come here, you have to see this!!! IT'S A SMALL BANANA! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!". Jesus.
The sensationalist spooky bullshit, specifically. "There's something haunted here... something scary... IN THE POSTAL MUSEUM!"
Labelling in grocery stores.
Tesco, the supermarket where I normally buy my groceries, sells normal sized bananas and slightly smaller, misshapen ones. Instead of calling them honestly grade B bananas or something, they label them "Fun sized bananas". Fun sized? FUN SIZED?!?
Oh yeah... hilarious...right... "Joe! JOE! Oh God, come here, you have to see this!!! IT'S A SMALL BANANA! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!". Jesus.
Wednesday, October 11, 2006
Force of gigantic dis
I'm participating to season 6 of Sketchbattle (with AF writing the scripts) - which is a lot of extra drawing but is also good fun. Today KC Green destroyed the other contestant in the best battle since the creation of the website. Just the hands spelling "Bitches" is pure genius - I was transfixed. He should win the season automatically just for that. The guy's comics are very funny - those I've read, anyway, because it would take 10 years to go through all the archives. By the looks of it, he draws two dozen strips per day. And most of them are very good.
Another contestant that I really like is Fabricari. His art is amazing (I'm not so sure about his bespoke sound effects though - zottlx?!?) and he's had a very good idea about setting a webcam on his drawing table so that people can watch him draw in real time. He explains how to do it and I am tempted to set it up too.
Another contestant that I really like is Fabricari. His art is amazing (I'm not so sure about his bespoke sound effects though - zottlx?!?) and he's had a very good idea about setting a webcam on his drawing table so that people can watch him draw in real time. He explains how to do it and I am tempted to set it up too.
Monday, October 02, 2006
UK Webcomic Thing 2007
I've booked a table for the UK Webcomic Thing 2007. Now I MUST get book 3 ready - maybe even book 4. I just shudder at the thought of printing episode 200 because it would have to span across two pages. It's a pain in the ass to do things by trial and error by normal post across two continents.
I'm also thinking of buying a badge maker and make buttons. I don't use them but I've seen people walking around the convention last year with so many badges on their clothes that I wondered how they still managed to move - so I guess that they are a popular item. If not, I can try to use them instead of coins in soda vending machines.
What else? I have some fridge magnets and stickers from last year (the pirate parrot was particularly popular) and very few t-shirts left. Time to print some more.
If only I didn't suck at organising this kind of stuff.
I'm also thinking of buying a badge maker and make buttons. I don't use them but I've seen people walking around the convention last year with so many badges on their clothes that I wondered how they still managed to move - so I guess that they are a popular item. If not, I can try to use them instead of coins in soda vending machines.
What else? I have some fridge magnets and stickers from last year (the pirate parrot was particularly popular) and very few t-shirts left. Time to print some more.
If only I didn't suck at organising this kind of stuff.
Tuesday, September 19, 2006
:-( B.C.
I spent a weekend in Paris where I made an important discovery while visiting the Louvre. As you can see in the photograph that I took, the sad smiley had already been invented by the Egyptians more than 4000 years ago.
Wednesday, September 13, 2006
Where do I get ideas? In the Retarded folder
I haven't read message boards for ages and my brain thanks me for it, but who knows how many countless gems I'm missing. When I used to read them, I'd copy and save posts that were retarded enough to stand out for exemplary stupidity even in the great Ocean of Dumb of gaming forums. Unfortunately I changed PCs at work and when I did a backup of my stuff I forgot to copy over my beloved Retarded folder, so I have almost nothing left. These are two of the few things that remain.
The first is a sample of an insanely long drama post on a WoW forum. I already had in mind to feature a drama queen in the comic so I copied it for future reference:
He told me the reason he broke up with her was because she wanted to have a 3sum with him and some other guy. He also told me about Zenithfaith/Zenithstorm, and said they knew eachother in real-life. He said that she was too shy to make out with him, but that they would fool around all of the time. He said she was the reason he started playing WoW. At the moment, he is dating someone I thought was a friend, Lunarflower, who after 20 minutes of knowing my friend Serujisu, whispered to me she thought she had a major crush on him. Gawain and I laughed and made fun of her, and talked about how pathetic they both were (which later we found out Serujisu never had interest in her, so it was just her). I also found out from a friend that she's tried dating Bouncerr and someone else from Judgement. We cracked up for a day on how lame she was, but now he hypocritically went to her because he knew she was easy."
She goes on and on AND ON like this for pages. Amazing. I'll use choice bits to script Emonika's dialogue. Seriously, you can't make this shit up.
The second is a three year old post from someone who was extremely saddened by the introduction of pvp in City of Heroes (when they announced City of Villains). I really don't see how I can use this in any way in the comic, but if I could somehow re-create the pathos and drama that this moron infuses in a post about a FUCKING GAME, it would make for some fine script:
"Beta reports made me dream of a game that brings out the best in players. Finally, a game relatively free of d00ds, griefers and silly immature behavior.
I thought I would see players that care for other players, who know that grief in the game actually hurts the real person in front of the screen... those players that know that hurt is bad.
Now its pvp... now the griefers come. Lets welcome the d00ds, powerlevelers and leet-speak kids.
It doesnt matter if pvp is separate. They will be all over the community, like everywhere else. Their issues will be on the boards, their playing style will contaminate every discussion.
Its a mindset, a way of thinking. If there is a chance to mess with other players, those who like to mess with other players will come and do just that.
I wished so hard to for once be able to avoid them - to forget about them.
I think it will feel much less fun being a hero now. It doesnt feel like fun at all.
There comes the attitude, the foul mouth, the silly behavior.
Right now, hope is gone."
The first is a sample of an insanely long drama post on a WoW forum. I already had in mind to feature a drama queen in the comic so I copied it for future reference:
He told me the reason he broke up with her was because she wanted to have a 3sum with him and some other guy. He also told me about Zenithfaith/Zenithstorm, and said they knew eachother in real-life. He said that she was too shy to make out with him, but that they would fool around all of the time. He said she was the reason he started playing WoW. At the moment, he is dating someone I thought was a friend, Lunarflower, who after 20 minutes of knowing my friend Serujisu, whispered to me she thought she had a major crush on him. Gawain and I laughed and made fun of her, and talked about how pathetic they both were (which later we found out Serujisu never had interest in her, so it was just her). I also found out from a friend that she's tried dating Bouncerr and someone else from Judgement. We cracked up for a day on how lame she was, but now he hypocritically went to her because he knew she was easy."
She goes on and on AND ON like this for pages. Amazing. I'll use choice bits to script Emonika's dialogue. Seriously, you can't make this shit up.
The second is a three year old post from someone who was extremely saddened by the introduction of pvp in City of Heroes (when they announced City of Villains). I really don't see how I can use this in any way in the comic, but if I could somehow re-create the pathos and drama that this moron infuses in a post about a FUCKING GAME, it would make for some fine script:
"Beta reports made me dream of a game that brings out the best in players. Finally, a game relatively free of d00ds, griefers and silly immature behavior.
I thought I would see players that care for other players, who know that grief in the game actually hurts the real person in front of the screen... those players that know that hurt is bad.
Now its pvp... now the griefers come. Lets welcome the d00ds, powerlevelers and leet-speak kids.
It doesnt matter if pvp is separate. They will be all over the community, like everywhere else. Their issues will be on the boards, their playing style will contaminate every discussion.
Its a mindset, a way of thinking. If there is a chance to mess with other players, those who like to mess with other players will come and do just that.
I wished so hard to for once be able to avoid them - to forget about them.
I think it will feel much less fun being a hero now. It doesnt feel like fun at all.
There comes the attitude, the foul mouth, the silly behavior.
Right now, hope is gone."
Monday, September 11, 2006
Make a wish emails
A reader on the tagboard asked me to blog more and I was so surprised that someone would want to read my drivel that I decided to indulge him/her. I've even enabled comments, so all the viagra dealers have a place to append their spam. I very rarely have anything meaningful to speak about but nothing is easier than talking without nothing to say. That reader will rue the day he asked for this.
A colleague sent me one of those chain emails that normally I delete on sight - make a wish, read the prayer to St Teresa, send this email to 12 other people and your wish will be granted within four days, etc. etc.
The email also mentioned that I had to include the sender in the group of 12 people, so I feel a bit bad not sending it back to my colleague. One thing is to think "WTF did you send me, did you lose your mind?" but keep the thought to yourself, another is to let your silence say it for you. Maybe this lady wished for something awesome like peace on Earth and I'm fucking it up for her.
Of course I could send it back saying "I MADE A WISH THAT YOU'LL STOP SENDING ME THIS RETARDED SHIT - BUT FAT CHANCE OF THAT HAPPENING, YOU MOTHERFUCKING MORON!", but that would be just as rude as not answering. Maybe even a bit ruder.
Let's have a look at the requirements. Let's assume for sake of argument that St Teresa really exists and that she cares about this email being forwarded it exactly twelve people. Maybe that creates just enough Heavenly Mana points for a small miracle. I guess that sending it back just to the colleague and pretending that I sent it around wouldn't fullfill the conditions.
So I wonder - what if I forward it to my colleague and 11 people picked at random from my spam box? Would that satisfy the requirements? For example, there's a Lara Leary who's been eagerly trying to get me interested in a "fine-looking Innoccent Cutie getting splendid it anallly!" (how does one get splendid anally? maybe it's somehow related to mystical ecstasy and they would appreciate a prayer email to St Theresa); there's a Sushi bar in Spain that keeps sending me emails about their home delivery service (that'd be some ripe salmon nigiri by the time it got here); and so on. Do these count as people for the purposes of email miracles? If they don't, St Theresa may get really pissed - and who knows what other superpowers she has aside from granting wishes by email? Better not risk it.
A colleague sent me one of those chain emails that normally I delete on sight - make a wish, read the prayer to St Teresa, send this email to 12 other people and your wish will be granted within four days, etc. etc.
The email also mentioned that I had to include the sender in the group of 12 people, so I feel a bit bad not sending it back to my colleague. One thing is to think "WTF did you send me, did you lose your mind?" but keep the thought to yourself, another is to let your silence say it for you. Maybe this lady wished for something awesome like peace on Earth and I'm fucking it up for her.
Of course I could send it back saying "I MADE A WISH THAT YOU'LL STOP SENDING ME THIS RETARDED SHIT - BUT FAT CHANCE OF THAT HAPPENING, YOU MOTHERFUCKING MORON!", but that would be just as rude as not answering. Maybe even a bit ruder.
Let's have a look at the requirements. Let's assume for sake of argument that St Teresa really exists and that she cares about this email being forwarded it exactly twelve people. Maybe that creates just enough Heavenly Mana points for a small miracle. I guess that sending it back just to the colleague and pretending that I sent it around wouldn't fullfill the conditions.
So I wonder - what if I forward it to my colleague and 11 people picked at random from my spam box? Would that satisfy the requirements? For example, there's a Lara Leary who's been eagerly trying to get me interested in a "fine-looking Innoccent Cutie getting splendid it anallly!" (how does one get splendid anally? maybe it's somehow related to mystical ecstasy and they would appreciate a prayer email to St Theresa); there's a Sushi bar in Spain that keeps sending me emails about their home delivery service (that'd be some ripe salmon nigiri by the time it got here); and so on. Do these count as people for the purposes of email miracles? If they don't, St Theresa may get really pissed - and who knows what other superpowers she has aside from granting wishes by email? Better not risk it.
Thursday, July 27, 2006
Mediocre movie night
I spent most of yesterday evening colouring episode 203 and I watched a disappointing movie called The Village. It was very much how I imagine Live Action Roleplaying to be, muddy, overacted and with nothing really going on.
When it started I thought it would be cool, but what totally killed it for me was
*SPOILER WARNING* (stop reading now if you haven't seen it!)
*SPOILER WARNING*
.
.
.
.
.
.
seeing Miss Piggy dressed like a spanish inquisitor walk past in the background. Also, the characters kept doing things that made no sense, it was really irritating. Maybe that's why the retarded guy was the best character, at least he was justified.
When it started I thought it would be cool, but what totally killed it for me was
*SPOILER WARNING* (stop reading now if you haven't seen it!)
*SPOILER WARNING*
.
.
.
.
.
.
seeing Miss Piggy dressed like a spanish inquisitor walk past in the background. Also, the characters kept doing things that made no sense, it was really irritating. Maybe that's why the retarded guy was the best character, at least he was justified.
Tuesday, July 25, 2006
Our Exalted Leader
I was reading the EQ2 forums looking for interesting material to use in the comic and happened on this mindblowing statement in a thread about gold farmers (the bold is mine):
I have said it before and i'll say it again that the only way to really cripple these people is to get the governments involved. I don't think the US president, European Primeminister, China leader, Japanese Emporer and such will be too happy they are loosing money from these people. This stuff is unfiltered un taxed money like paying a person under the table you start billing these people for tax evasion and punishing them severaly enough it'll start to stop for a bit.
That's why gold farming is rampant! That lazy European Primeminister isn't doing anything about it. He's not getting my vote at the next elections, that's for sure.
I have said it before and i'll say it again that the only way to really cripple these people is to get the governments involved. I don't think the US president, European Primeminister, China leader, Japanese Emporer and such will be too happy they are loosing money from these people. This stuff is unfiltered un taxed money like paying a person under the table you start billing these people for tax evasion and punishing them severaly enough it'll start to stop for a bit.
That's why gold farming is rampant! That lazy European Primeminister isn't doing anything about it. He's not getting my vote at the next elections, that's for sure.
Monday, June 12, 2006
Football fever
Football craze is upon us, for the next month (or earlier, depending on results), England flags will be the hottest item for sale at pound shops all over the country. I went to the supermarket two days ago and it felt like I was the only person not flying the colours - I vaguely worried that I may be confronted and beaten up in the car park, because my old car has a Roma sticker with the Italian flag colours in the background.
Anyway, the next episode, #191, has a World Cup theme.
Anyway, the next episode, #191, has a World Cup theme.
Friday, June 02, 2006
Virtual fashion
I've been browsing for screenshots from old UO days (Found them! Please don't send any) because I want to draw a large group scene in #189 - a fight night - with a retro look and the 3rd person view angle from above that UO had.
I've found a bunch of screenshots of assorted pwnage on a guild website of some pk guys who probably had their site designed by Dakilla (minus rotating skull gifs, I'm sorry to say), and a bunch of screenshots from some online wedding found googling with the usual orderly crowd of people in cloaks and feathered caps spamming *cheers* and *claps*.
I realised while I was looking at these two very different groups of people that in UO - since it didn't matter really what you were wearing and you were just as likely to see guys in full plate or guys in loincloth and skull helmet running around - people could come up with all kinds of different combinations of clothing, crossdressing and weirdness - and ended up making fashion statements about themselves just in the same way people do in real life.
I don't mean by having "unique characters" like you can do in many games now, where you can spend 4 hours choosing the nose shape and the angle of the eyebrows and all kinds of minute details of your character's face, when anyway you'll never see much more than its butt while it runs around the game and no one else will ever give a second look (or a first) at its facial features.
I mean instead in the same way that a goth, say, or a smartly dressed businessman, make a fashion statement about themselves, so as soon as you see one you label them in your mind. I could have cut off and mixed all the guys on those screenshots and guessed who was one of the pks and who was a roleplayer just by looking at their clothes.
I think that it's cooler than games where everyone looks like cookiecutter character #1843475. WoW has great graphics, but people of approximately the same level and gear quality are going to look very much like variations of each other, whoever they are and whatever their game style.
Now, I'm not being nostalgic - after all there are games like City of Heroes where it doesn't matter what you're wearing so you have great freedom to customise your looks, but I think that it'd be nice if gear-based games like WoW allowed players to display any kind of clothing, hats etc. on their characters, if they wanted. Right now, everyone looks like a clone.
I've found a bunch of screenshots of assorted pwnage on a guild website of some pk guys who probably had their site designed by Dakilla (minus rotating skull gifs, I'm sorry to say), and a bunch of screenshots from some online wedding found googling with the usual orderly crowd of people in cloaks and feathered caps spamming *cheers* and *claps*.
I realised while I was looking at these two very different groups of people that in UO - since it didn't matter really what you were wearing and you were just as likely to see guys in full plate or guys in loincloth and skull helmet running around - people could come up with all kinds of different combinations of clothing, crossdressing and weirdness - and ended up making fashion statements about themselves just in the same way people do in real life.
I don't mean by having "unique characters" like you can do in many games now, where you can spend 4 hours choosing the nose shape and the angle of the eyebrows and all kinds of minute details of your character's face, when anyway you'll never see much more than its butt while it runs around the game and no one else will ever give a second look (or a first) at its facial features.
I mean instead in the same way that a goth, say, or a smartly dressed businessman, make a fashion statement about themselves, so as soon as you see one you label them in your mind. I could have cut off and mixed all the guys on those screenshots and guessed who was one of the pks and who was a roleplayer just by looking at their clothes.
I think that it's cooler than games where everyone looks like cookiecutter character #1843475. WoW has great graphics, but people of approximately the same level and gear quality are going to look very much like variations of each other, whoever they are and whatever their game style.
Now, I'm not being nostalgic - after all there are games like City of Heroes where it doesn't matter what you're wearing so you have great freedom to customise your looks, but I think that it'd be nice if gear-based games like WoW allowed players to display any kind of clothing, hats etc. on their characters, if they wanted. Right now, everyone looks like a clone.
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