Wednesday, January 23, 2008


I've finally finished reading the space opera saga Pandora's Star + Judas Unchained by British writer Peter Hamilton. I've really enjoyed it, to the point of staying awake until 2-3 in the morning because I couldn't put the book down.

I have only one gripe. In Judas Unchained, it's the year 2400 something and a starship technician who not only isn't British, but isn't even from Earth, unwraps and eats a Cadbury bar. NO FUCKING WAY.

Cadbury chocolate sucks. It sucks immensely. The only reason why people in this country eat that dog puke is because they don't know any better, but it's horrible. Try Swiss or Belgian chocolate - hell, even whatever local non UK chocolate you can find - and compare. Cadbury's in-fuckin-edible. The UK has some special regulations and ingredient quotas on how to make chocolate where they use less cocoa and replace it with other stuff, arguably sweetened shit (as if anyone had to wait for the lab results to find out and couldn't tell from the taste).

Forget the evil aliens, the nova bombs, the quantumbusters, the 60 destroyed planets and the millions of dead Galactic Commonwealth citizens, the really scary thing in Peter Hamilton's book is the concept that four hundred years from now someone will still be shoving that garbage in their mouth.



Alex said...

Dude! Cadburry bars so do not suck! They're not the top, but they are not bad. And I've tried my share of Milka, Lindt, Toblerone, a bunch of boutiquey stuff, Kraš... :P

Gianna said...

Well, ok, the Milky Bar is not too bad.

Dragon said...

Hi Gianna
Cadbury is level 1 'trash loot' chocolate

Anonymous said...

Cadbury's does not suck at all! all that foreign garbage is what sucks. Try living outta the UK and forced to eat what the swiss and belgians call chocolate *puke*

chocolate should be sweet not dry bitter powdary crap if I want bitter dry powdary crap I'll eat talcum powder

Anonymous said...

Cadbury's may not be the best chocolate in the world (but if you can't afford Belgian it'll do very nicely), but believe me it's a huge leap forward from the garbage the Americans eat. I moved from Australia (where Cadbury's is everywhere) to America and discovered that Hershey's is far and away the world's #1 crappiest chocolate ever.

Heather said...

Actually, speaking of Peter Hamilton, I've only read his Reality Dysfunction series and although it was a great read I found the deus ex machina at the end to be a considerable disappointment. Has this facet improved in his new books?


(Sorry, my last comment came out as anonymous - first time I've used a Google blog and just realised I could probably use my gmail account to sign in.)

Heather said...

Oh, my accidental anonymous comment didn't make it, I see. Ah well, it was just about how Hershey's is actually the worst chocolate, and Cadbury's is quite palatable by comparison. (Speaking as an ex-pat Aussie who now lives in America and has a tough time finding decent chocolate that doesn't cost a fortune.)

Chris said...

You've obviously never tried a hershey bar Gianna :/ I moved to the US from England in December and their chocolate is DISGUSTING! Hershey Bars leave a pretty distinct aftertaste... of Vomit. Think i'm Joking? Buy one and see.

Flamebait said...

Having lived in America and the UK, but not being a native of either, I say Hershey's is far greater than Cadbury's. I'll admit the taste is strange. But at least it's a bit like, you know, chocolate.

I've heard the "vomit" one before, it makes me envy the British' presumably superior puke.

Anonymous said...

Galaxy is worse... tastes like 90% vegetable fat.